Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
