So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
