you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
