You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
