thus making me awesome and them whores
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
