he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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