id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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