Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
