Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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