Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
