Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
