Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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