STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
