ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
