You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
