I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
