just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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