I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
