sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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