we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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