you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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