i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You ruined the universe
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
