Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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