its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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