It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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