Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
