All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
