Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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