is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Boobs speak an international language.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
