So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
