Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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