Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
