My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
