Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
