three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
