I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I had to cum in my sink.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
