What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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