do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
