Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
