My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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