belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it because I queefed?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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