you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
