He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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