She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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