i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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