Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
