and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
