Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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