i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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