I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
