Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
