Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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