Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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