Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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