Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
