I want to make a zoo with you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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