Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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