so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
