you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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