i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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