just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize