i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
